LAUREL OLSON COOK
Author, Writer, Editor
(dba A Way with Words)

Plurals and Apostrophes

I am moving this one into lead position because the world is not getting my message. I see this mistake everywhere and often. Sometimes the incorrect apostrophe is very light, as if the sign-maker did have doubts about whether it was needed. I have been known to erase the errant apostrophe when it is on chalkboard, or pen it out when no one is looking, or tell clerks and managers to please fix it. The reception is not always what I would like. ("Thank you so much. I will correct it right away!) So here goes again:

For some reason, many believe they need an apostrophe whenever they make a noun plural. You see it a lot in ads. Here are some examples: Shoe's are on sale. (SHOES). The Trump's are leaving. (The TRUMPS). Miracle's are in sight. (MIRACLES). When you use an apostrophe (and you do not want a possessive), you end up with a contraction, e.g., Shoe is are, The Trump is are, Miracle is are.
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FEW versus LESS. This one from my local newspaper makes me wince because it is about a new private school planning to teach accelerated classes: "It's really fun because there is a lot less people and we all know each other." I guess the writer is one of their seventh or eighth graders in need of accelerated English classes. ("It's really fun because there are a lot fewer people and....")

For more on choosing between less and few, order my e-book: Watch Your Language: Tips from a Working Editor, available through Booklocker.com at $8.95.
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Revisiting whoever as subject of a clause within a sentence where it is the entire clause that is the object of the main verb in the sentence. Here we go:
"We understand that we're not going to have the same ideological views as they do," Schumer said, referring to whomever is nominated by Bush.

"Whoever" is the subject of the clause and the entire clause, whoever is nominated by Bush," is the object of "referring to."
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Take a closer look at how advertising tag lines play with language!

I saw in my Sunday newspaper a glossy insert for J. C. Penney stores and noticed its tag line: "Every Day Matters." Well, talk about language buffs, right away I was pleased to see "every day" correctly used as two words, meaning "every (single) day," because so often I see "everyday" as one word in a usage where it should be two words. Inexplicably, I grant you, "everyday" as one word is an adjective not a noun. However, phonetically, which is how you hear it in your head, both noun and adjective work: "Every single day (noun) matters (verb: counts) and "Everyday" (routine) matters (noun: events). Either way, it sends a message. Oh those clever copywriters!
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E-mail me with a word problem
that vexes you.)

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"I wonder if spring will be late this year." "Wonder" expressions like this one do NOT take a question mark. Listen to yourself say it: Does your voice rise at the end? It is a declaration, as in "I think," I believe," "I ponder," and so forth.

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An irksome construction I hear a lot: "I need for you to...." or "I want for you to..." instead of "I need you to" and "I want you to."

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Some words that grate have to do with pronunciation: Why do people reduce "mirror" to the one-syllable "meer"? And then there is the expanded "er-ee -u-dite" instead of the correct three-syllable "er-u-dite."

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This redundancy from Gloria Vanderbilt's son Anderson Cooper. He repeatedly uses the phrase "sufficiently (adjective) enough to..." Do we need the "enough"? How about "sufficiently serious to (warrant)," "sufficiently needy to deserve..." If it is sufficient, it is enough.

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A new what-are-they-thinking: I am not for sure what they said. What's wrong with: I am not sure...!
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It's not alot to remember, it's a lot to remember.
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Let's get biblical! It's not "low and behold," it's "lo and behold."

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Please take note that the past tense of the verb lead is led. I have seen that mistake many times, and it led me to the conclusion that I need to mention it here.
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I recently saw, in a reputable publication, a mistake in the who/whom, whoever/whomever department. In my Watch Your Language! I explain that in some situations "who" (or "whoever")is the subject of a clause within a sentence where the whole clause serves as the object of the main verb in the sentence. WAIT! Don't run away yet. Take a look. Here's a sentence that illustrates the problem. (I am bracketing the minor clause.)

I will advise [whoever is in charge] not to leave early.

A good tip for figuring out whether you want to use "who" or "whom" is to turn the statement around and substitute the pronoun "he" (subject) or "him" (object)--or, yes, "she" or "her." You will "hear" the right choice immediately.

Try it. Substitute a pronoun for that minor clause. I'll bet you didn't say "I will advise she (or he or they), did you? You chose the objective pronoun.

So, you ask, why do we see the nominative "whoever" following "I will advise"? Well, because you need to read further in the sentence to see that "whoever" is actually not the object of "advise"; "whoever is in charge" is the object of "advise" and "whoever" is the subject of the verb "is" within the clause.

So let's try another:

Tell [whoever does your bookkeeping] to mark it as taxable.

Again, if you were to put a pronoun in place of the minor clause ("whoever does your bookkeeping"), you would, without hesitation, say "tell him/her"; I doubt anyone would say "tell he/she."

(You may not believe it, but you could get to enjoy spotting these constructions.)

Having said all that, depending on your age and your social circle, it may take awhile to feel comfortable using who/whom correctly in any case, with or without the issue of clauses within sentences. For some reason, saying "who" is more comfortable than saying "whom." For Americans, "whom" always sounds stuffy!

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From Dan Poynter's Newsletter
Visit: www.parapublishing.com

SELEKTED RITING WRULES

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Back to AFFECT/EFFECT. I know it is difficult for many of you to grasp when to use the "a" word and when to use the "e" word. Here is a sentence from a local newspaper that jumped out at me:

"There are three meetings scheduled for October and November that could effect the future of the Russian River."

Does the reporter mean that could "bring about" the future of the river? Or does she mean that could "have an effect on" the future of the river?

Scroll down to review the A/E guideline.
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The redundant "that" is common among lawyers, but it's easy for anyone to fall into the "that trap." Example: He told her to step down, that if he needed to question her again that he would call her back. Now drop the "that" in italics, reread the sentence, and smile. This error won't put you in the language maven's doghouse, but when you get serious about editing your writing, this is one to catch.
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Here's a lovely misplaced modifier from a master filmmaker referring to Bay Area movie critic Jan Wahl, known for her hats. "There's some crazy lady who rates movies with stupid hats in San Francisco."
(Have you ever seen a movie with a stupid hat on it?)

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Proofreaders need to be aware of words that are "closed" as a noun, "open" as a verb, and hyphenated as an adjective. The system is not foolproof; sometimes the closed form is used for both the noun and the adjective form of the word. Here are some examples:

"You'll need to follow up (verb) with something convincing.
"My follow-up (noun) will be a dance routine."
"His follow-up (adjective) remarks were useful.

I still have to look up many in the dictionary. Here are a few for you to play with (verb forms): build up, close up, back up, pick up.

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TWO UGLY EXPRESSIONS are popping up more and more, in print and in speech: Sentences adding "which" clauses that should be "of which" clauses: "I have two copies which there are more, I know." I realize that "of which" works better in written material than in speech, and I suggest, then, that you rework the whole sentence: "I have two copies, and I know there are more." Or "I have two copies; there are more." Or I have two copies. I know (I am told) there are more of them." Taking care of the which/that distinction is hard enough without concocting this new illiterate construction!

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Another bugaboo for me is "looking to," as in "are you looking to go on to college?" Again, rewrite it: "Are you planning to/ thinking about/working toward..." "Looking to" is appropriate, albeit with a totally different meaning, in sentences like: "He was always looking to his brother for confirmation."

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PLEASE TELL THE WORLD: (I find this mistake everywhere--you will, too if you check your local newspaper.) When you say "in the 1880s" (or 1950s or 1730s), or "the 1960s gave us the Beatles," no apostrophe is called for; there is no possessive in these usages. Yes, you can say "a 1950s' style" meaning "a style OF THE 1950s. Here you need to remember to place the apostrophe after the "s" because the whole decade is being referred to, not just the year (1950). Of these two admonishments, the first is the one I want the world to learn NOW! I can wait for the second.

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CONTEST: Instead of a language stickler, let me quote text from an AP report (Drunken gene in worms offers hope of alcoholism cure) dated December 12, 2003: If you find all four errors, I will send you a write-up on one of my California spas--your pick or mine.

"For starters, the drunken worms moved slower and more awkwardly than sober ones. Teetotaler worms form a neat S shape to power propulsion while drunken worms body's were straighter and less active."

Then:

"Because it's believed that alcohol effects all animals similarly, a single gene responsible for drunkenness in worms could ultimately be the same one in people.

"Our end goal is to find away to cure alcoholism and drug abuse..."

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BE ALERT TO expressions such as "here's" or "there's," which are correct to use when what follows is singular in number. If followed by a plural, however, you need to say "here're" (here are) and "there're" (there are). Example: Here're the books I want you to return. And: There're many points of view to be heard.

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ITS (possessive) and IT'S (contraction) I know. You have learned that possessives require apostrophes--except that rule does not always apply. ITS is the possessive, always; IT'S is the contraction for "it is," always. Reread your sentence: if it works to say "it is," then you want "it's" If not....you know what to do. Once you get this rule, you will never make that mistake again.

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AFFECT vs EFFECT
AFFECT is almost always used as a verb meaning to change, alter, modify, have an effect on.
[Example: Using the wrong verb in a sentence affects the meaning.]
I find the substitute "have an effect on" works in most cases. Test yourself by substituting the word you have used --affect or effect-- with "has an effect on." If that reads correctly, then "affect" is the right choice.

EFFECT is almost always used as a NOUN, but when it is used as a verb it means to bring about or cause. [Example: Mixing ammonia and bleach effects chemical changes that can produce deadly fumes.]

P.S. Affect as a noun is seen in psychology texts or in legal transcripts: "His lack of affect was an indicator." "He showed no change in affect when the verdict was read." You seldom see this usage outside of these fields, so don't worry about it.

Effect as a noun needs no explanation.

PAST APPEARANCES/FUTURE PLANS

Healdsburg Soroptomists

NBC 11's "In Wine Country"

Anne Bradford Gallery

Healdsburg Public Library

Quivira Winery

I continue to show and tell at bookstores, wineries, and other likely and unlikely places within driving distance.

Go to PRESS ROOM to read a press release on my latest guidebook to spas.

Wine Country Spas of California, is still available for direct purchase from iUniverse (www.iUniverse.com), as well as the new Copperfield's in Healdsburg and in Sonoma County libraries.